On nuts

Can't spell nutrition without the nut. With so many different nuts to choose from, a nut novice may end up overwhelmed. What should you eat? Peanuts or almonds, chestnuts or walnuts, pistachios or pecans? It all boils down to personal preference in the end. Also, it helps to think about exactly where and when will you consume your nuts. If you are expecting to be on the run, perhaps almonds and unshelled peanuts should be the best choice. If you have some time to spare and leisurely eat your nuts in the comfort of a warm fireplace or in the glow of a television screen, opt for walnuts and pistachios. These nuts take a little more effort and time to enjoy. Regardless of the nuts you choose, make sure to have fun. Nuts are a great way to relax and think about life.

Enjoy all nuts all the time

On handshakes

Handshakes are the worst member of the Shake family. There's Milkshakes, Mango shakes, Strawberry shakes, Handshakes, and booty shakes. Despite being the lamest kind of shake, handshakes are perhaps the most important out of this list in terms of real life relevance. Nothing conveys confidence, power, and trust like a firm handshake. When shaking hands it is important to use the entire hands. Pinky shakes are unacceptable, and two-handed shakes (with the left hand covering the shake) should be reserved for African diplomats. Everyone else can use the traditional handshake.

The power of the handshake lies in the vulnerability it brings to the parties involved in the transaction. Your hands accumulate germs and gross shit all day every day. The handshake, then, is a relay of experience--a sort of formalized swapping of spit. When you shake a man's hand, you are shaking everything that man has ever held. There is importance in this. There is ancient wisdom

[March] 8.

[March] 8.

Attended classes while affected with a sluggish stupor, not unlike that of a drunkard or loafer. As the last class session of the day was coming to an end I became aware of my deep desire to rest for an hour or so, in desperate hopes of shaking off my fatigues and commencing my day's reading. Seeing that I was now free from the burdens of a busy schedule, I left the university campus and made haste towards Piedmont and Haste, reaching my humble abode in due time. A indulgent and uninterrupted rest followed, and a few hours afterwards I began to make preparations for my supper--Chinese vegetable "chow mein." Dinner was served, consumed, and the paper plates lodged in the trash bin. I ended the night with a lengthy bout of reading.

lake ta***

tomorrow ill be heading out to lake tahoe out in the eastern edge of california and the western border of nevada. lake tahoe is filled with a lot of great natural things like trees, lakes, snows, and large rocks. people enjoy visiting lake tahoe in the summer for the sunny lakeside picnic areas and in the winter for the snow covered ski slopes. the name lake tahoe is controversial because it includes the word "hoe," a modern slang term for a female strumpet. take care BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop

Mysterious text sent to me

RJ told us what happend. why are you ending it? you two were a story in the making. the best story ever. i dont understand. why hurt the both of you. you once loved him. what changed. who changed you?

+14086247217
Aug 5, 2010 1:14:01 PM

Dropped the odwalla bar on the carpet

Just dropped my berry odwalla snack bar on the carpet. I can't physically see if there's any dirt on it but since the texture of the bar is sticky I'm gonna play it safe and throw the half eaten snack into the trash. I'm about to go grab another one. This time I'll keep my grip tight, cya later

diarrhea poem

diarrhea about to flow, but you don't know where to go.
you're at the theater, sitting in the last row.
you move out of your seat, stepping on some feet.
almost at the exit, your journey is nearly complete.
the men's restroom is off in the distance.
you keep on running, moving with persistence.
just as you grab the handle to the door,
you hear a big fart--and you poop onto the floor.

True Friends

I realized that people change once you fart in front of them. They look at you differently and sometimes call you names, mean ones. Even your best friends can start hating you. I used to think that my friendships were strong. I used to think that nothing could tear apart my friendships with the people closest to me. But sometimes a simple fart can really show you who is a true friend and who is a faker. I don't want any friends that are gonna hate on me because I farted in front of them. That's not how a true friend is supposed to be. A true friend is supposed to stick with you through thick and thin, no matter how bad your farts smell.

How are you gonna claim you're my friend yet you wanna keep a 10-foot radius from me? You already know I drank like half a gallon of milk this morning. It's natural, anyway.

False fart

So i recently got into a little mishap. It was a rainy day and I was sitting in class minding my own business. Since the seats are organized in close columns i decided to rest my tired foot on the side of the seat in front of me. My rubbery soles slipped on the wet metal. Pfrrrrrrt. A few students nearby looked in my direction. My friend turned around in disgust. "Did you fart?" I gulped and replied no it was just my shoe sliding on the desk. "Sure.." he said. My face was starting to feel fuzzy and hot. "Look man im serious ill show you." I positioned myself like I was before with my shoes on the desk. I slid them but no sound came. Again i tried but nothing. My friend just shook his head. The bell rang and students began getting up and out of class. Zippers zipped and books closed in the bustle of activity. I remained there frantically sliding my shoe across the leg of his desk. I couldnt make my shoe fart. My friend stood up from his seat and stared at me. "Its ok bro. Everyone does it. But just try to hold it in when youre in class." He grabbed his books and walked away. I stayed in the empty class rubbing my soles against the metal. My face was red with embarassment. I couldnt make that sound again. Couldnt prove to everyone that im not a farter.

Peanut butter pants

since ive moved out i invented a really cool snack for myself. I take two slices of bread, pack on a crap load of peanut butter, and eat them with milk. This is always something i look forward to whenever i get the time to make em. But today i experienced the Dark Side of this snack. I was really hungry and so i thought to myself, hey maybe i should make a peanut butter snack. As I was taking out the bread and peanut butter my mouth was already beginning to drool. I made my fatal mistake when i decided to toast my bread. Now, usually when i eat my Peanut Butter Snack without toasting the bread i end up with hella peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth. That's why i eat it with milk. But for whatever reason today i felt like being more civilized and toasting the bread slices. The slices were hot as heck when i started spreading my peanut butter on them. As i took my first bite i was surprised at how liquidy the butter had become. Well, im no biologist but i have a feeling that the heat from the toasted bread had some kind of evil effect on my peanut butter. Before i knew it, my little sandwiches were bleeding peanut butters all over my pantalones. I ran to the bathroom in an attempt to rescue my clothing, but it was too late. So now my pant leg has a long brown streak on it that looks like i pooped on it. Well, i dont care because my pants smell tasty

Runnin'


Don't worry. I haven't ran away.
New posts will come soon, so just hold your horses.
Hopefully I'll get this blog poppin' like it was back in 2008.

Been thinkin about this lately

Books R Good

I recently found this speech by William Phelps. It's titled, "The Pleasure of Books".

The habit of reading is one of the greatest resources of mankind; and we enjoy reading books that belong to us much more than if they are borrowed. A borrowed book is like a guest in the house; it must be treated with punctiliousness, with a certain considerate formality. You must see that it sustains no damage; it must not suffer while under your roof. You cannot leave it carelessly, you cannot mark it, you cannot turn down the pages, you cannot use it familiarly. And then, some day, although this is seldom done, you really ought to return it.

But your own books belong to you; you treat them with that affectionate intimacy that annihilates formality. Books are for use, not for show; you should own no book that you are afraid to mark up, or afraid to place on the table, wide open and face down. A good reason for marking favorite passages in books is that this practice enables you to remember more easily the significant sayings, to refer to them quickly, and then in later years, it is like visiting a forest where you once blazed a trail. You have the pleasure of going over the old ground, and recalling both the intellectual scenery and your own earlier self.

Everyone should begin collecting a private library in youth; the instinct of private property, which is fundamental in human beings, can here be cultivated with every advantage and no evils. One should have one's own bookshelves, which should not have doors, glass windows, or keys; they should be free and accessible to the hand as well as to the eye. The best of mural decorations is books; they are more varied in color and appearance than any wallpaper, they are more attractive in design, and they have the prime advantage of being separate personalities, so that if you sit alone in the room in the firelight, you are surrounded with intimate friends. The knowledge that they are there in plain view is both stimulating and refreshing. You do not have to read them all. Most of my indoor life is spent in a room containing six thousand books; and I have a stock answer to the invariable question that comes from strangers. "Have you read all of these books?"
"Some of them twice." This reply is both true and unexpected.

There are of course no friends like living, breathing, corporeal men and women; my devotion to reading has never made me a recluse. How could it? Books are of the people, by the people, for the people. Literature is the immortal part of history; it is the best and most enduring part of personality. But book-friends have this advantage over living friends; you can enjoy the most truly aristocratic society in the world whenever you want it. The great dead are beyond our physical reach, and the great living are usually almost as inaccessible; as for our personal friends and acquaintances, we cannot always see them. Perchance they are asleep, or away on a journey. But in a private library, you can at any moment converse with Socrates or Shakespeare or Carlyle or Dumas or Dickens or Shaw or Barrie or Galsworthy. And there is no doubt that in these books you see these men at their best. They wrote for you. They "laid themselves out," they did their ultimate best to entertain you, to make a favorable impression. You are necessary to them as an audience is to an actor; only instead of seeing them masked, you look into their innermost heart of heart.

William Lyon Phelps - 1933

Jon's Earthquake Xperience

Oh man Oh man Oh man Oh man
I should have posted this hella days ago, but yeah..
Here's a recording of my buddy Jon describing his crazy earthquake experience. I set the audio to some nice images for your viewing pleasure.

Check it out mayne:

I messed up at 1:45. I thought he said "geometry teacher". Jajaja

Readin' Partnaz (Pt. I)

"We got the esmarkers and esstickers or somesing"
- Jon Esteban

If you are a loyal follower and reader of this blog you may already know that my friend Jon Esteban is terrified of buying things off Craigslist from strangers. He always thinks he's gonna get molestated or something. So when he found a great deal on Craigslist from some lady in Mountain View he made sure I would be able to accompany him on this dangerous voyage. We departed from our humble abodes at around 3'o clock and headed towards the unknown. Armed with nothing but our cellphones and manhood(s), Jon and I brought the car to a shaky stop in front of the woman's rundown apartment in East Side Mountain View. Tumbleweed tumbled across the dusty road as an old man sat on the curb crying sad tunes into his harmonica. I wiped the gallon of sweat nestled in the grooves of my forehead as Jon did a quick perimeter check to scout for possible escape routes. He found none.

They say there's a guardian angel for every individual. A heavenly being who watches your every step. An invisible hand ready to reach out and save you from sudden crushing death. Well, if that's the case, I know my guardian angel was right by my side today. It was a miracle we made it out of that dreaded apartment building alive.

Jon and I walked slowly towards the apartment entrance gate. I stared at the gate handle. Jon stared at the gate handle. Old rust covered what may once have been a beautiful golden knob. The thin and spiraly trees nearby seemed to laugh at us from above. The leaves, betraying their natural green state, had taken a reddish hue--the color of blood. We hesitated for what seemed like two seconds, then I took the initiative and turned the handle. I gulped the biggest gulp I had ever gulped. There was no turning back now.

Experts say the chances of a fully grown grizzly bear attacking a human are very slim. Bears stick to their areas, and humans stick to their own. No one crosses paths and no one gets hurt. Experts also say that if one does encounter a bear, the first thing to do is make loud, aggressive sounds and gestures in an attempt to scare off the beast. Jon and I knew nothing about this.

We made a few steps into the empty courtyard. I surveyed the scene before us: rows of apartments, each with a clean doormat and properly trimmed bushes hugging the footpath. There was no sign of life aside from the bushes and grass. No children's toys laying out in the yard. Not a ripple in the apartment pool. Everything seemed too perfect. Too quiet. The dead silence came to a halt with the jolting crash of the entrance gate behind us. Jon and I looked at each other. This was the beginning of the end.

Inspirational Words with Nasser

Nasser sits down with his friend Chris (check out his music here) to share some important inspirational words. The first of a very motivating and captivating video series. Spread the word, spread the love.


Wait...what?

So recently I looked up "Nasser" in the Facebook Groups search engine. I found tons and tons of groups, most of them dedicated to President Nasser of Egypt or Nasser-El Sonbaty the body builder. Around page 21 or so, I stumbled upon a few groups that gave me goosebumps. Check it out, y'all.

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Reading all this horrible stuff about a guy named Nasser was pretty painful. He's really making us Nassers out there look bad. I hope Megan dumps this jerk! Here's the other one that gave me goosebumps:

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Okay, this one made me pretty mad. It's a private Facebook group, so I had to request admission. Once I'm in there (if they let me in) I'll be able to see what my "friends" have been up to. Let's hope this group is about another Nasser Khan..Image and video hosting by TinyPic

TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND

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"Can't spell woman without the man" - Nasser Khan, 2009.

Tonight will be a night etched down in the annals of history for its tremendous importance. Tonight will show the rest of humankind what hard work and persistence can accomplish. Tonight a man became even more of a man. Tonight I drove my 1992 Volvo 940 past the 200,000 mile mark.

It was a little past 7 o'clock when I glanced at the dusty old odometer on my dashboard. I had been anticipating this moment for a week now. It was several days ago when I finally noticed the high mileage. So here I was, driving with my great friend Jon Esteban, 8 miles away from my life goal.

Let me backtrack for a moment. For those that haven't seen my car, its an old bulky Volvo. 17 years old and I think it barely passes smog. The "Check Engine" light is now practically part of the car. The tires screech when I make sharp turns, the front bumper is dangling, the car shakes at red lights, and the air conditioning won't turn off. But, alas, a miracle has occurred and my vehicle has soldiered through to claim its place in automotive hall of fame.

I was on my way to Jon's house to drop him off, but when we saw how close we were to this incredible feat we just could not resist. Eight miles would be easy on Monterey Road. We would drive back and forth until the moment came. Simple. I exited Bernal and made a left on Monterey. I gained an easy three miles in that direction and felt it was time to go back towards Jon's neighborhood for my last five miles. As I made a right on Ford Road, the odometer was getting closer and closer. 2 more miles.

I can't do this. I'm not worthy of doing this. I was getting nervous as the odometer was clicking higher and higher. What if the car breaks down before the 200,000 mile mark? I had been driving all day and the hard work was starting to take its toll on the vehicle. The turns were getting slower and heavier. What if the odometer wasn't made to go that far? My eyes were completely glued to the dashboard. I barely dodged incoming traffic and parked cars. What if I get into an accident before it happens?

I believe it was 7:26 PM when my car made it to 200,000 miles. I also believe I was somewhere around Silverleaf Park. But all that didn't matter. What mattered was that I had done the impossible. I had taken this piece of machinery to its limits--and then pushed it some more.

I would like to thank everyone who was a part of this beautiful day. And to everyone who was not: it's all right. I wish you could have been there to experience it. This is not something that happens everyday. The feeling I had when I watched those five 9's turn to zeros was indescribable. Just indescribable.

It's been a great ride and I look forward to the next 200,000 miles.

The Price of Genius

Jon Esteban's short film, "The Price of Genius".
Starring Nasser Khan

Once the video is playing, click the icon on the bottom right and select "HQ" for the best viewing experience.

Tamales

Hey if you guys ever need to buy some tamales just go to the parking lot of the Walmart on Monterey Road. There's a lady who sells them out of her old mini-van. Just act casual when you walk up to her and don't be suspicious. She's there all the time, you just have to look for her. She usually disappears when the police roll by. Tell her Nasser sent you.