Today is Sunday and I am thinking of making a new blog post
Critical Updates: 11/28
- Yesterday was Thanksgiving
- Today is Black Friday
- Tomorrow is Saturday
- And the day after that is Sunday
- Which precedes Monday
- And is followed by Tuesday
- Leading up to Wednesday
- Ending with Thursday
- And so on and so forth.
Guano Islands Act
The Guano Islands Act, passed by the US Congress in 1856, allows citizens the right to stake claim to any rock or island containing deposits of guano.
There are two rules:
1. The rock or island cannot be occupied by humans before the capture.
2. The rock or island cannot be under the jurisdiction of any other Government.
Once the rock or island is claimed, the possessor is free to name the territory whatever he or she pleases.
So what exactly is guano? Guano is poop from seagulls, bats and seals.
Kewl, huh?
There are two rules:
1. The rock or island cannot be occupied by humans before the capture.
2. The rock or island cannot be under the jurisdiction of any other Government.
Once the rock or island is claimed, the possessor is free to name the territory whatever he or she pleases.
So what exactly is guano? Guano is poop from seagulls, bats and seals.
Kewl, huh?
Toilet Trouble
I ate way too much pizza at work today and ended up bombing the toilet for a good ten minutes. Then I hella sprayed the bathroom with some cheap looking air freshner which made the place smell even worse. Oh man, oh man.
On a better smelling side note, I am very happy to have seven followers. Yes yes, very happy. Thank you, yes.
On a better smelling side note, I am very happy to have seven followers. Yes yes, very happy. Thank you, yes.
Location: Friend's Room
I sat down on the couch. My friend moved toward the wall, and I glanced at the table adjacent to my seating place. I moved my foot northward and allowed it to stay there for a short time. After a minute or so, I resumed my original position. A friend offered his hand and I offered my hand and we shook our hands. I then decided to end the shake by resting my hand onto the couch. Another friend made a humorous joke and I allowed myself a hearty laugh. My lips parted slightly as short, abrupt breaths spilled outward.
Local Police Blotter
From: http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_10748733?source=rss
North Harrison Avenue, 1:25 a.m. Thursday A 18-year-old who was multi-tasking -- urinating in a parking lot while talking on his cell phone -- was cited.
North Harrison Avenue, 1:25 a.m. Thursday A 18-year-old who was multi-tasking -- urinating in a parking lot while talking on his cell phone -- was cited.
TWO HOLIDAYS + Interracial Lovin'
Today I had no class because my Jewish teacher is observing the Jewish holiday Yom Kippur. I am really happy that today is Yom Kippur. I wish all my teachers were Jews because there are so many Jewish holidays and I would never have to go to class.
In addition, yesterday was Darren's Birthday. It was cool hanging out with everybody at the same time simultaneously. I also noticed how multi-cultural our group of ten was, and it's amazing. We had Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino, White, Mexican, Japanese and Pakistani people there. Yup thats right. Now all we need is an African dude. Well thats all, Happy Birthday Salad Parfait. Let's start up the karaoke
In addition, yesterday was Darren's Birthday. It was cool hanging out with everybody at the same time simultaneously. I also noticed how multi-cultural our group of ten was, and it's amazing. We had Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino, White, Mexican, Japanese and Pakistani people there. Yup thats right. Now all we need is an African dude. Well thats all, Happy Birthday Salad Parfait. Let's start up the karaoke
Monday Nite Chillin + Bullets
Okay, I know what you must be thinking. Bullets? But don't worry, I'm not talking about those kinds of bullets. I'm gonna try something new for this post. Instead of writing a normal paragraph form entry, I'm going to use bullets. These are the nonviolent kind of bullets.
- Today in my Humanities class we talked about racial stereotypes
- My teacher asked me to list some stereotypes, but I refused and said I didn't want to offend anyone. Either I looked really lazy or really kind.
- Finished my second story for Creative Writing
- Feel all right about the piece. It has enough substance to keep the reader's interest
- Made 35 copies of the story for my class fellows
- Later at night, I chilled at Dan's
- Played NHL '94 with my homie Jesus
- Its a fourteen year old game for Sega Genesis
- Its nearly impossible to score a damn goal in the game
- They have the San Jose Sharks in there, so thats cool
- This is my second blog entry in a row that mentions hockey. Oh man
- We went to eat dinner at Yack in the Box
- I ate some mozzarella sticks that were just fabulous. Marvelous, really.
- We were there for hella long, and the workers forgot we were still there and locked us in
- Rolled around in the Orchard Supply shopping carts and removed them from store property, which is a federal crime
- Dropped off Jesus at Magic Sands. Every time I go there I feel like a kid again
- That concludes the night. I hope you enjoyed this bulleted format. I will never use it again
2 FOR 1 DEAL
Okay, since I haven't blogulated in a while I am going to write about the past two days in one blog. Yesterday I finally installed my new really cool car stereo, thanks to Kim Long. Taking out my old deck was a pain in the pants, though. It took about an hour to pull that thing out. Since we were installing it at night, we went over to Jon's garage because he has really good lighting in there. So the four of us (Daniel, Kim Long, Jon and I) tried to pull out this ancient stereo. We used any kind of tool we could get our hands on. We even used a gardening tool that looks like this:
The dude that had originally put in my old deck must have wanted it to be extra safe because he made it nearly impossible to take out. We had to disassemble a bunch of compartments on my dashboard. After an hour of huffin' and puffin', grabbin' and stabbin', swearin' and tearin', we finally pulled out the old stereo, only to find that the wiring didn't match up with my new deck. After a quick trip to Walmart for supplies, Daniel stripped off about 25 wires and Jon color coded them together (since I'm color blind) and we finally got the deck to work. It's really cool bruh. YEAH
Tonight I went to the Sharks game with my sister. It was really exciting because I've never been to a hockey game. The seats were great and I was surrounded by a vast sea of drunk white guys. If you've never been to a hockey game I really recommend going to one. It's a cool experience and the game itself is very fast paced. The Sharks and the Phoenix Coyotes were at a 3 and 3 tie by the end of the game, so they were forced into overtime. The Sharks made the winning goal and the entire arena went crazy. White people rule
The dude that had originally put in my old deck must have wanted it to be extra safe because he made it nearly impossible to take out. We had to disassemble a bunch of compartments on my dashboard. After an hour of huffin' and puffin', grabbin' and stabbin', swearin' and tearin', we finally pulled out the old stereo, only to find that the wiring didn't match up with my new deck. After a quick trip to Walmart for supplies, Daniel stripped off about 25 wires and Jon color coded them together (since I'm color blind) and we finally got the deck to work. It's really cool bruh. YEAH
Tonight I went to the Sharks game with my sister. It was really exciting because I've never been to a hockey game. The seats were great and I was surrounded by a vast sea of drunk white guys. If you've never been to a hockey game I really recommend going to one. It's a cool experience and the game itself is very fast paced. The Sharks and the Phoenix Coyotes were at a 3 and 3 tie by the end of the game, so they were forced into overtime. The Sharks made the winning goal and the entire arena went crazy. White people rule
BIKES, SAFEWAY, AND NAKED
Yesterday was a bliggidy blast. After finishing my class at school I went to Magic Sands. Well, I'll explain what Magic Sands is for my readers who don't know. Magic Sands is the hottest and most magical hang out in San Jose. It's basically where a kid can be a kid, and there are many attractions for tourists there. Daniel and I were there for about an hour but the fun and excitement became too overwhelming so we just had to leave. Whew! You had to be there to understand. Magic Sands Rocks! For those of you who are interested in visiting Magic Sands, the address is 165 Blossom Hill Rd, San Jose, CA.
Recovering from all the fun and amusement at Magic Sands, I met up with Darren to accompany him on some errands. We cruised on over to Cupertino, California. WOW! We hit up a gnarly bike shop, and Darren scooped up a helmet. After that we went to UC De Anza, the nation's leader in Asian Studies. We just had a blast there too, yeah bro. The lady working at the registration office (I won't mention her ethnicity for privacy reasons) had a horrible accent and we could not understand one word she was saying. I was totally confused, but even more so, I was upset that Darren couldn't understand her (since they both share the same ethnicity, but I won't reveal what ethnicity I'm talking about). This little episode led us to an argument/mass debate on which was better: slavery or the Holocaust. But yeah, time flied pretty fast because we were just having tuns of fun! Something else noteworthy was a middle aged man I spotted on the sidewalk in my neighborhood. He wore his jeans pulled up high. I mean, way above his belly button. That guy was just scum.
As part of our intense night time bi-cycling regimen, Darren and I rode around the neighborhood, meeting up with good friends such as Milad aka "Mr. Armani". After catching up with Milad aka "Mr. Armani", we felt the need to eat some high protein foods. I chose the raisin bagel bread, while Darren opted for the ultimate protein drink...ODWALLA Naked Super Protein Food Drink. Packed with 5 apples, 2⅓ bananas, 1½ oranges, and a hint of pineapple, ODWALLA Naked is more than a mouthful. I became a bit concerned when I found out that this monstrous drink contained 64 grams of protein. Now, I don't know a lot about nutrition, but I'm pretty sure that 64 grams is too much. And also keep in mind that Darren drank the whole bottle in about 12 seconds. That's like drinking one apple every 2.4 seconds.
We encountered a serious problem at Safeway: the aisle floors were literally littered with mountains of flour. We kept slipping and sliding over the strange white substance. After getting used to the feeling, we began holding dance competitions on the slippery surface. We did have video footage of the dancing but I don't have a way of plugging my cell phone to my computer. I can't believe we didn't get kicked out or anything. Watch out though, Safeway isn't so safe after all. After clearing up some confusion on whether Darren's mom wanted "tomatoes" or "potatoes" from the grocery store, we ended the night sharing succulent Japanese sweets with some friends. Well that pretty much concludes the crazy fun filled evening. Cya laterz alligatorz. I might add some stuff to this post if I remember something I missed.
Recovering from all the fun and amusement at Magic Sands, I met up with Darren to accompany him on some errands. We cruised on over to Cupertino, California. WOW! We hit up a gnarly bike shop, and Darren scooped up a helmet. After that we went to UC De Anza, the nation's leader in Asian Studies. We just had a blast there too, yeah bro. The lady working at the registration office (I won't mention her ethnicity for privacy reasons) had a horrible accent and we could not understand one word she was saying. I was totally confused, but even more so, I was upset that Darren couldn't understand her (since they both share the same ethnicity, but I won't reveal what ethnicity I'm talking about). This little episode led us to an argument/mass debate on which was better: slavery or the Holocaust. But yeah, time flied pretty fast because we were just having tuns of fun! Something else noteworthy was a middle aged man I spotted on the sidewalk in my neighborhood. He wore his jeans pulled up high. I mean, way above his belly button. That guy was just scum.
As part of our intense night time bi-cycling regimen, Darren and I rode around the neighborhood, meeting up with good friends such as Milad aka "Mr. Armani". After catching up with Milad aka "Mr. Armani", we felt the need to eat some high protein foods. I chose the raisin bagel bread, while Darren opted for the ultimate protein drink...ODWALLA Naked Super Protein Food Drink. Packed with 5 apples, 2⅓ bananas, 1½ oranges, and a hint of pineapple, ODWALLA Naked is more than a mouthful. I became a bit concerned when I found out that this monstrous drink contained 64 grams of protein. Now, I don't know a lot about nutrition, but I'm pretty sure that 64 grams is too much. And also keep in mind that Darren drank the whole bottle in about 12 seconds. That's like drinking one apple every 2.4 seconds.
We encountered a serious problem at Safeway: the aisle floors were literally littered with mountains of flour. We kept slipping and sliding over the strange white substance. After getting used to the feeling, we began holding dance competitions on the slippery surface. We did have video footage of the dancing but I don't have a way of plugging my cell phone to my computer. I can't believe we didn't get kicked out or anything. Watch out though, Safeway isn't so safe after all. After clearing up some confusion on whether Darren's mom wanted "tomatoes" or "potatoes" from the grocery store, we ended the night sharing succulent Japanese sweets with some friends. Well that pretty much concludes the crazy fun filled evening. Cya laterz alligatorz. I might add some stuff to this post if I remember something I missed.
L & S
Living lazy lately loses large listeners. So, suspect sizzling semiweekly statements soon. Later suckers!
GRAFFITI SNAILS
Just when you think you've seen graffiti on every paintable surface (walls, trains, stop signs, bathroom stalls, etc), a London-based street artist has come up with a genius new idea--vandalizing snail shells. Under the pseudoynm Slinkachu, he has made his mark on the city's small slithering gastropods. Whether or not you agree with his methods, you have to admire the man's originality. His artwork is really going places. Pun intended.
See more of Slinkachu's snail art at innercitysnail.blogspot.com
Also, make sure to check out his "Little People" project here: little-people.blogspot.com
- NASSER KHAN
Love Notes
Click image to enlarge. How many times I got to tell ya!
Thanks to my friend Jeff for showing me these.
Thanks to my friend Jeff for showing me these.
Nasser Reviews: TROPIC THUNDER Get Some
"Tropic Thunder Get Some" is a fast moving, gun-toting comedy flick starring Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., and Tom Cruise. The movie is pretty straight forward, and doesn't require too much thinking. I would describe TTGS as a mix between "Rundown" and "Rambo", only funnier. I don't want to ruin the movie experience with spoilers, so I won't write about the plot. The basic idea the director probably had was to throw a group of comedy actors into the jungle and let them interact with each other. The characters were pretty interesting, and they really held the movie together. Jack Black's portrayal of a drug addict was great, and Downey's fake black persona was quite humorous. In my opinion, Jack Black was the funniest actor in the movie, and was lucky enough to get the best lines and scenes. I wouldn't categorize this film as simply a comedy. The action scenes and gun fights are very well executed and rival many other action movies out now. When the actors aren't joking around and delivering funny lines, they're shooting at enemies, jumping out of flying helicopters, killing pandas, and dodging missiles. Therefore, I'd label this as an action-comedy. Ben Stiller's deadpan style is the same as it is in other movies he's put out, such as "Zoolander" and "Starsky & Hutch". If you've seen those, you know what's in store. Tom Cruise had a great role in the movie as well, although I don't want to reveal which disguised role he plays. I didn't even know he was in the movie until the ending credits started appearing. Some of the characters could have been more developed and interesting, especially the two young guys in the squad. I didn't get to see them in any funny scenes, which is most likely due to poor writing by the movie's makers. All in all, "Tropic Thunder Get Some" is a good summer flick that's worth going out and watching. Just don't expect too much.
Movie Score: 4 grenades out of 5.
Pho King Noodle
We've made a plan for the future. Darren and I are going to start up a noodle shop called Pho King Noodle. We will specialize in making the best Pho King Noodle in the world, with a Japanese and Pakistani twist. We are also thinking of adding a number at the end of the title so it has a sort of zap to it. Maybe like "Pho King Noodle #663". More information to come soon. Stay tuned, geezers.
A Brand New World
So yesterday I did a lot of stuff. I called up my colleague Darren to see if he wanted to khang out. He replied affirmative and we headed over to the bank to deposit two checks I had from school and work. Then we went to San Jose's hottest mall, Oakridge. I had some moneys on me so I bought a pair of Onitsuka Tigers with Darren's kick a-word discount at Journey's. Thanks. The shoes came with two different colors of laces: blue and white. Darren is a lacemaster, so he put the white laces on the right shoe, and blue on the left. They look trendy, I may say. I also purchased a green and white polo at Zumiez. It looks pretty dope. Anywho, here's a pic I found online of teh shoez:
After all that, we picked up Quynh. Her dad is allergic to grass. We went to the Cheese Steak Shop and I ordered the Zesty Veggie delight, but it was too much for me so I bagged it up to go. It could probably feed a whole African village. So yeah thats pretty much it. Nerrad and I danced to some indian music in the car, it was pretty cool. Later on at night Darren and myself headed over to my personal trainer Milad's house to work out our hot bods. Kewl, huh. I felt like I entered a brand new world yesterday.
Check out this optical illusion (Click to enlarge image, dogg)
After all that, we picked up Quynh. Her dad is allergic to grass. We went to the Cheese Steak Shop and I ordered the Zesty Veggie delight, but it was too much for me so I bagged it up to go. It could probably feed a whole African village. So yeah thats pretty much it. Nerrad and I danced to some indian music in the car, it was pretty cool. Later on at night Darren and myself headed over to my personal trainer Milad's house to work out our hot bods. Kewl, huh. I felt like I entered a brand new world yesterday.
Check out this optical illusion (Click to enlarge image, dogg)
Spider Extermination
Last night (Sunday Night) was pretty fun after work. Fermin, Daniel, Kim Long T. Nguyen, Darren, and I went around the neighborhood burning and exterminating pesky pests and creepy creatures. Using nothing more than a cell phone light, our brain power and a handful of fireworks, we managed to rid the nearby elementary school of its black widow spider epidemic. It felt good knowing that we might have saved an innocent child's life from the deadly grasp of these arachnid hoodlums. After killing vast scores of spiders and cock-a-roaches, we returned to civilization and karaoked the night away. Darren and I sang MGMT's "Time To Pretend" to Kim Long T. Nguyen's ladyfriend on the phone. It was a very special song and I hope she enjoyed the vocal delivery and meaning. We finished the night off by recording some funny voicemail away messages for ourselves with the help of Cool Edit Pro 2.0. The messages came out really really dang good. If you know Darren or myself, give us a call and hope we don't answer the phone.
Laterzz
Laterzz
Rafting Photograms + Hella Plagiarism
Below are the photograms from the rafting trip we had last week (I'm the good looking fellow in the yellow safety hat). These pictures were taken from some imaging company, and the greedy fools tried charging us $50 dollars for all the pics on a CD. We didn't pay. Don't ask how I got them.
I was also going to write a really in-depth report of the trip, but my friend Andrew Fujishin beat me to it. Therefore, I'm just going to copy paste his blog entry. Don't worry though, I have it all cited in MLA format.
Works Cited:
Fujishin, Andrew. "Middle Fork American River w/ pix in album." MySpace.com Blogs. 15 Aug. 2008. 18 Aug. 2008
I was also going to write a really in-depth report of the trip, but my friend Andrew Fujishin beat me to it. Therefore, I'm just going to copy paste his blog entry. Don't worry though, I have it all cited in MLA format.
"Rafting with Matthew, Nasser, Daniel, and Joey on August 14th down Middle Fork American River, a class III-IV river *(popped our rafting cherry).
The night before we camped out and set up our weird looking tents... pix up later, it was hilarious because our tents were crooked compared to everyone elses, and we had a 'mini' one man tent which was set up by just throwing it in the air, lol. Our tent making skills took about 1 hr.. and it still looked like crap ahaha.We were 'newbs' so for dinner Nasser wanted to heat up his soup, so we walked to the store nearby and tried to buy something to eat at the restaurant. This weird looking lady came out and blocked the door really fast. Nasser was like "can we use your microwave?" lol and she seemed really.. eager to shoo us off (also w/ an inside joke). So she pointed us to a shop down the road, which was named "Deli, Liquor, and Lotto"
Matthew and I decide to buy a pizza, (what noobs we are buying this food.) So the guy is like "YOU ROOKIES, WHERES YOUR MAMA?!"
"YOU POOR LITTLE BABIES DON'T KNOW HOW TO CAMP OR WHAT? NEED MOMMA TO COOK SOMETHING?!" ...something to that effect, and hes like, "You can't microwave that pizza, what do you think this is, a deli??!?!" This was the main joke of the night because it was in fact, a deli. Also Nasser dubbed him the "contradicting man" because we are shopping at his store, giving him business, and he treats us like that, also the deli joke. lmaooooo
We didn't want to talk back to this man, because we had a feeling he had a shotgun under his table, he was one of those guys, ya know? lol so he proceeds to tell us the 'exact time' we should microwave our other stuff, and Nasser decides to microwave his noodles. He said, where you gonna get water from?? We are like uhhh we bought some... lol man this was the funniest thing of the trip, you need to be there to understand our jokes for that night. So we ended up returning the pizza, and Matt and I just decided to buy Lunchables and a sandwich. LOL. We were also joking because we were the only 'minorities' on the camp, and that the microwave lady singled us out (another inside joke lol). We swam in their little pool afterwards, having a little trouble because most of us haven't been in a pool in a long time. We had a few races and felt like idiots trying to be "Michael Phelps" and doing "reverse turns" under the water, which ended in utter FAILURE Towards 8:00 PM ish, some filipinos arrived next to us, and we were like, hey, brown people! (inside joke, no harm meant lol :)
but yeah, those filipinos and our group stayed up way past the 'quiet time' which was 10PM, and were probably too noisy until 12AM. I couldn't sleep for 3 hours because of the snoring. In the middle of the night, I heard a loud cat followed by some smell later on in the morning (skunk). Nasser's ringtone was hilarious. It was "Who Let The Dogs Out" which rang at 6:30, when NO ONE was awake. Middle Fork bus was leaving at 7:30 AM sharp. That probably woke up the whole camp, lol. WELL on with the trip..
Our guide Jeff was fantastic...the scenery was beautiful
The trip started off really crazy because "Good Morning" was the first rapid which was super cold and fast (below 50 degree water)... Later
we saw a few people downstream who caught a few large trout, some "Jesus birds" because they walk on water, and a few other crazy things, such as water snakes, and baby turtles. We even stopped to pick some berries fresh off the vine. Another cool little event was the 'surfing' part of the trip which is where the water meets downstream and upstream.
There was a rapid on the trip in which one of the boats got stuck (after the portage falls) because they didn't veer to the left, and went on the harder right path with a jagged rock.
We had to use our teamwork (15+) people to pull the boat out. Kendra was the guide of that boat. The other guides seemed awesome too. Jose? I believe was his name, was a really laid back and FUN guide. He splashed water all over our boat and we had a water fight.
One person fell out of our boat at the last rapid called "Cannonball"
It was a crazy rapid which was totally unexpected. This class III-IV rapid was pretty easy for us beginners....
overall an awesome experience, which we will do again!"
Works Cited:
Fujishin, Andrew. "Middle Fork American River w/ pix in album." MySpace.com Blogs. 15 Aug. 2008. 18 Aug. 2008
I am quite exhilarated.
I am going camping and rafting for the next two days. I am quite exhilarated. I feel a jubilant sense of adrenaline and excitement. My endorphins are releasing at an alarming rate, and my mind is filled with emotions of great happiness and glee. I will post an internet journal entry when I return from my adventures.
White Man's Dance
Yesterday at work, my friend Joey Weed taught me a funky new dance move. I can't really explain it in words, so my diagrams will do the talking. Check it out:
It looks a lot better in person. I can't wait to try this one out on the dance floor. I know it's going to be a hit.
It looks a lot better in person. I can't wait to try this one out on the dance floor. I know it's going to be a hit.
Blog Attempt Failed
Okay, this is my first blog post so I'm really nervous. I don't really know what I'm getting myself into, so I hope this goes alright. Damn, I'm really nervous. I'm sweating all over my keyboard. Sorry, I can't do this.
